We aren’t the type of people who like to create nonsense drama. Despite how some may feel or think, we don’t search out issues with our family and friends, in hopes of creating a disturbance in the force. We leave that to others in the family, who seem to be professionals at it, doing an excellent job of wreaking havoc where havoc doesn’t need to be wreaked. We didn’t put leukemia into Lis’ body so that I can participate in the American Cancer Society’s Relay For Life, or kickstart a blog. Nor did we move to Spokane so that we can stir up attention. It was actually quite the opposite. Still, drama seems to search us out, whether it be issues like cancer, losing a house, or the possibility of cancer again.
Note: Even though I had basal cell carcinoma, a cancerous skin cancer, I don’t consider it a high level issue, as my kid’s won’t need to share with the doctors that their dad had basal cell carcinoma, like they’ll need to tell their doctors – forever – that their mom had leukemia.
Okay, so the C-Word (not that one!) may not have returned into our lives, however in the last two weeks there were concerns that made us think, maybe it was knocking on our door.
I was keeping updates as this was happening, so part of this may sound a bit like a journal. Um kay?
Two weeks ago Lis was picking on her breasts (don’t ask, she does a lot of picking and I’ve told her numerous times to stop picking), when she noticed a drip of blood, sprinkle out of her left nipple. She was concerned, and using what we’ve learned from her previous diagnosis, decided not to wait it out, so she made an appointment with a doctor. Concern Level: 1 (out of 10)
Her first mammogram went superbly. However, the physician’s assistant ordered her an ultrasound. The ultrasound went well, except for a few black spots that seemed to cause concern. So the Girl Doctor ordered Lis to get a biopsy, to see what the black spots may be. Concern Level: 4
It’s Saturday, November 1 and Lis doesn’t seem concerned. I was. Months prior she had complained about soreness, and lumpiness, but I’m learning as I write, that the lumpiness was in the right boob, and this issue is in the left. I feel a bit better now, except that I’m sharing all this stuff about my wife’s boobs, some of her best assets. Learning this makes me less concerned. This is where I’ll use my humor in an attempt to make an uncomfortable situation even more uncomfortable. I’ve told Lis for years that the “Girls” needed a little more attention. She prefers that I concentrate my attention in other areas. But still … maybe they need just a little more lovin’. What?! I’m just sayin’!
Still, it’s hard not to be concerned considering her prior diagnosis. Plus, we did a Google image search (hard to ignore the advice they gave us back in the leukemia days that said, “Don’t read what you find on the Internet?!”) and, like picking a criminal out of a lineup, the black ultrasound photos that matched the ones she peeked at in her appointment, were of the cancerous variety, and the address of the place she goes to for her biopsy is at the Rockwood Cancer Treatment Center. Concern Level: 7.
You’d understand why we – okay, me, though secretly I think she’s concerned, but knows that I worry more, so lets me do the worrying on the outside. Make sense? – are a little anxious about Wednesday’s biopsy appointment.
So no, we’re not trying to create drama, if we did I’d post some sort of Facebook post that said, “Black spot? A little concerned. Guess we’ll wait until Wednesday.”
Right now I’m a mixture of anxious (I don’t do well with anxiety; stupid chest issues!), a bit worried, find it all a little humorous, and bewildered.
Since we moved here we’ve settled into a wonderful church, and a wonderful small group, filled with couples our age, with lots of kids our kids ages, so on Sunday we broke the silence and decided to share with our small group. Heck, we could use some prayers. I know what’s done is done, but shoot, I tend to put a lot of stress on my heart, so I was just hoping for a little help from above with calming my nerves. Prayers answered! It’s been two days and I feel fine. Not too concerned. I think it will go well, and if it doesn’t…bring it! Concern Level: 3.
It’s Tuesday and Lis tells me that her girl doctor called to check in with her, and let her know that even though the spots that they found may not be causing the bleeding, she’s glad Lis came in to see her. That’s nice of her! But what does that mean? Concern Level: About a 4.
The biopsy that was supposed to happen on Wednesday changes to Friday, as Lis just as a consultation, feel you up, appointment with a breast surgeon. There’s some discharge of blood, but the doctor doesn’t give Lis any indication it’s something she should be worried about. Of course they won’t until the results are in (next Wednesday, 2 p.m.), but the leader in the clubhouse is now Papilloma. What’s a Papilloma? Click here to read what Wikipedia says about it. Concern Level: 2.
Frustration Level: 8. I had to take 1-1/2 hours off of work for her to get a talking to. On Friday I’ll have to take another hour or so from work so she can have her supposed biopsy. On Wednesday … well Lis is on her own. She’s bounced back from one doctor to the next to the next. Let’s get this figured out so we can move on.
Biopsy day has arrived! Lis explains to me that after today she would have had about six ladies feel her up. What does that mean to me? That the physicians are getting more action than me. After the biopsy she warns me that no, her boob is not bigger (darn!) it just has an ice-pack strapped to it. That’s right she’s strapping! She’s also just had 15 needles to the boob! Um…ouch! We will find out the results on Wednesday. In the meantime … Concern Level: 1.
After a weekend of some serious Broobs (bruises on the boobs), Lis receives a call from her doctor. She can skip her appointment. All is okay. Can I get an Amen! Thank you! The doc just wants a follow-up in three months. No problem! Even though our Concern Level was at a 1, we are still relieved that we don’t have to wonder.
Sure some think that drama can be kind of fun. It’s a conversation starter, it allows people to talk, and give their not-always-bright opinions on your issue. It can sometimes make a boring life, interesting. But still, drama causes pain, mostly emotional, and sometimes physical. It creates worry, anxiety, stress, frustration and nightmares. I’m perfectly okay with having that boring life. Perfectly fine with answering the, “What’s new?” question with, “Nothing.”
So what’s new?
Well since you asked …
Fixed both Lis’ windshield wiper problem, and since I was feeling handy, my windshield spray. That’s the third car issue I’ve fixed since we moved here three months ago. You know how many car issues I fixed when I lived elsewhere? None. It’s amazing how moving away from an easy remedy makes me actually grow up.
Lia is learning to read, and there’s not much more that brings me joy than watching the kids learn how to read. It’s an incredible thing. Lia loves school, and loves to learn. She doesn’t get frustrated, she sounds out each letter, and if she gets it wrong she’s receptive and has it corrected. I have to remind myself to not get annoyed when she asks me to tell her what every word she reads EVERYWHERE means. This girl has continued to amaze me since the day she was born. I love it!
The Johnson Five made a trip across the mountains this past weekend. My good buddy annually snags Seahawks tickets to one game, and invited me to come over. I was hesitant because we’re strapped for cash. Thankfully our house sold, they were willing to give us a “Relocation Fee” and we get to stop paying utilities for a house we no longer live in, so convincing Lis was easier to do. That and my buddies agreed on helping me with some of the travel costs. Much love Middletons!
We left early Saturday morning, visited with Josh and his new baby (Josh and “his new baby” in the same sentence?! You bet!), visited with our twin family the Schaubles Saturday afternoon (kids had a blast!), had a wiener at Big Dog’s (thanks buddy!), and then spent time with my family before our double-date, plus-Dennis, with the Schaubles to see Interstellar. Still trying to figure it out. I’m giving it a solid 8 on IMDB though. Christopher Nolan is amazing.
Sunday was a blast as Dennis, Josh, and his brother Geoff, took the train to the game. Did our pre-funk at Safeco Field, had a great time watching the Seahawks defeat the New York Giants, and just a wonderful time spending time with friends I’ve had for 21-plus years. The weekend exceeded expectations. Lis and the kids had a great time hanging out with my parents, grandparents, Uncle and Auntie on Sunday (and Lukas’s buddy, “Big” Levi), and Erik went even as far as telling me via text that, “It was a perfect Sunday!”