Nine Years Ago Today I Married My It Girl!

“Nine years ago today I married my best friend.”

You know the line. It’s a short, simple line made famous by Facebook status updates, that let our friends and family know today is our anniversary. The statement usually precedes something sweet we don’t normally tell our spouse, like … “and I love the way your hair smells in the morning.” What? Nobody?

This line usually makes single folks, or maybe even some of you married folks, want to barf.

Sure it’s cheesy but often it’s totally true. And you know what? Guilty!

That’s right! Nine years ago today I married my best friend or as Jason Derulo sings, my “It Girl“.

Now, you’re probably wondering why I’m suddenly coming up with this conclusion. I should’ve known this the minute I nervously stared at the judge speaking to me in Portuguese, awaiting for the translation from my “What Did She Do to Her Hair?” rented translator.

Note for those of you who thought I married someone that didn’t speak English just because she was H-O-T: Lis spoke perfect English and wasn’t allowed to translate for me. Just think of the damage she could’ve done.

Judge (in Portuguese): “What do you think you’re doing? Do you really want to marry someone whose family is half a world away and who will cost you an arm and a leg – and maybe more if you have kids – in airline tickets because she wants to visit her family every other year? You’re nuts white boy!”

Lis (in English): Do you take me to be your wife, Gringo?

Kevin (sweaty and confused): Yes.

You can find the full story of “When Kevy, Met Lisy” by clicking on “When Kevy, Met Lisy“.

Where was I? Oh … so it was a few weeks back when Lis and I were in the midst of talking about my family and friends. It was after one of those … “You Never Hang Out With the Guys” moments. Exhausted I realized that there truly, TRULY, was nobody else, now or in the past, that I could’ve lived with for nine years. Check that, for more than three years. I happened upon that one person and I plan on keeping her!

And it’s not just that I can live with her. There’s nobody else I’d rather hang out with more than the person I happened to marry. It’s true!

Sure there are times when I’d like to hang out with my buddies. I should’ve gone and seen Moneyball with my friend Ian rather than Lis, who fell asleep during the movie.

Sure going out with the “Pals” is fun every once in a while, but seriously hanging out with Josh for nine years straight. Um … I don’t think so.

And before you think it’s because Lis and I can hang out naked together, an added bonus to being hitched – I guess Josh, Ian and I could hang out together if we pleased but that’d be AWKWARD! – it’s not!

Note to aforementioned single people and newly married couples: When you’re hitched for nine years you’re often not seeing each other naked. The lights are off, you’re under the covers and you’re tapping her on the shoulder asking, “So … you feeling frisky tonight?” What? Nobody?

Lis and I have always had a fun time being with each other. After nine years we still make each other laugh, which is saying a lot because I think I’m funny (and most of the time it seems like ONLY I think I’m funny) and I really haven’t met anyone other than her that allows me to be a dork and is still OK with it. At least for more than 6 months straight. I mean we’re at nine years and I can still break into the Funky White Man Dance in the living room using only the music in my head, and she still cracks a smile. Maybe the smile is to make me stop because she knows that when I do that I’m a little … a little Grandma Johnsonish.

Despite her not-so-love for most sports (the other night I told her that so-and-so was playing shortstop. She didn’t have a clue where shortstop was. I felt like I had failed our marriage), we do have quite a bit in common. We love the same movies and both can’t understand the love some people have for some movies *cough, Adam Sandler.*

We also agree on parenting. Sure, we’ve got the same years of experience parenting kids but in this era of “Attachment Parenting” let’s just say that it’s nice that I’ve found one of the last few people that agree with me on … parenting! We’re “old-fashioned” and we know it!

Don’t get me wrong we’re not perfect. There are things that annoy me about her. Really must you do the dishes IMMEDIATELY after dinner? And I’m sure there are a couple things that annoy her about me. Really must you break wind constantly and out loud? Must you laugh at everything Lia does at the dinner table? Must you slurp your hot cocoa or tea? Must you snore? Why must you and Lukas consistently miss the bowel? Must you talk about Boyz II Men, Star Wars AND/OR fantasy sports again?

Still if I were to be stuck on an island with someone I’d choose her over everyone else, including my kids, though right now Levi is pretty easy to get along with and he likes to snuggle!

OK … I feel like I’m rambling.

What I’m trying to say is that when someone says they’ve married their best friend, they’ve probably married their best friend. So there!

Marriage isn’t easy. It takes patience, a lot of hard work and the willingness to change (an excuse I hear from divorcees too often, “He/she changed”. Well of course he/she changed! Your cell phone has changed that doesn’t mean you change your … wait, bad analogy. Uh…Times change! Everything changes but you have to change with the time. That’s what I’m getting at. Yah, that’s it!

Take parenting, if you have more than one kid you know you definitely don’t treat No. 3 with the same caution you treated No. 1. No. 1 falls off the chair and you leap over rows of seats to pick him up. No. 3 falls off the chair and you wait to see if blood comes out of the gash in his head before you rock-paper-scissors with your spouse on who’s going to calm the crying child. People change. Am I rambling again?

What I’m trying to say (Part II) is that in nine years Lis and I have had to do a lot of changing. In nine years we’ve had three kids, a fight against cancer, a victory over cancer, bought our own home and now own our own business! No wonder I’m always exhausted … unless you’re feeling frisky, then I’m never exhausted! 😉

Let’s end this rambling with a slideshow of random pictures from our wedding in Brazil and our reception in the States (August, 2003).

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Since I didn’t have a lot of time to come up with a sappy poem to write my It Girl then I did what I did back when I was a teenager and copied lyrics to a Boyz II Men song. Ahh crap, I brought them up again! This time it’s from “More Than You’ll Ever Know” feat. Charlie Wilson.

Note: Don’t understand the “like a twin” line. I think they were looking for something to rhyme.

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