Somebody slap me please!
It just dawned on me this evening that we are just weeks away from having another child brought into our world. Gulp! I’m not physically, mentally or emotionally prepared for this. I’m scared – wait that’s an emotion right?
I don’t know what it is! These past eight months have flown by! I’ve been so busy with everything else that I really haven’t put much thought into baby sister. Work, work, other activities and Lukas have all kept my mind busy and elsewhere.
I haven’t thought about her name, other than consistently joking about calling her Shaniqua. Sadly the name has began to grow on me. Lis has just gone to naming her Lia and I’m not sure if I’m prepared for that yet. Mostly because I haven’t taken five minutes out of my schedule to think about what I want to name our daughter.
She kicks and turns in Lis’ stomach. I’ll set my hand on it, then turn and go back to whatever I was doing, or falling asleep if we’re lying in bed. Not like when Lukas was in the womb and I laid my head on her belly reading to him or talking to him. It’s just not the same experience. It bothers me. It worries me.
Sorry, just got distracted because Lukas got out of bed again. He went to bed at 8:30pm and is now getting up again at 9:30pm. Yes, it’s a nightly thing. Yes, it takes a toll on us.
Let’s see…a month remains until Baby Sister arrives and I’m not ready! I look ahead…busy this week. I look back, my calendar is full of things. We had one day where we had nothing planned, then we filled it with things to do. I’m scared that when Baby Sister arrives I won’t be able to make time for her. I’ve become one of those people I never wanted to become. Someone that can’t get away from work even though I don’t like working…or maybe I secretly do! Yuck, that scares me too!
I don’t know what to do. I lay in bed next to Lis and think I should talk to Baby Sister. But then I tell myself it’s 11pm and I need to go to bed, or I just end up thinking about it and that leads me to sleep. I have a problem. If I lay down for long enough I’ll fall asleep.
It’s now 9:44pm and Lukas is back up. This time buying time by just talking about night-lights and stickers for his room.
And you all wonder why I blog once a blue moon!