It is just two days before Koby makes his small screen debut on Animal Planet so I thought it would be a perfect time to sit down and once again have a talk with my parent’s youngest flat-coated retriever.
This time around I thought I would touch on subjects like his television debut, his consistent high performance in the ring, and his on-going feud with older brother Micky.
Kevin: Hello Koby. Can you believe it’s been since March 2006 since we last had a face-to-face conversation?
Koby (licking himself): Uh…yah. You’ve been too busy messing with that little hairless puppy of your own, Lukas. What type of dog is he anyway?
Kevin: He’s actually a human. What do you think of Lukas?
Koby: He seems cool. He likes to give me snacks before he leaves the house and he seems to like me. Oh and I like to lick his face so that it messes up his hair, it drives Lis crazy. I just don’t understand his babble and why he continues to call me Micky even though he knows I’m Koby.
Kevin: Well he’s just two, so he’s beginning to learn his vocab more and more.
Koby: So that makes him 14 right? He should be doing math equations by now.
Kevin: That’s different, anyway, let’s talk about this upcoming weekend. Are you excited to see yourself on the small screen?
Koby: Yah…pumped! I get to sit in my kennel, next to Micky, listening to him moan and complain about how nobody loves him, while Mom, Dad and the rest of the gang hang out at the Grandparent’s house watching me prance around the ring. Oh yah, I’m excited.
Kevin: But seriously, you’ve got to be excited. I mean, you’re on TV showing off your talent. Plus, Mom says she’s going to tape it and then let you watch it with them again.
Koby: I’m excited. I just wish I could be there for the debut because I know Mom’s going to come home and say, “Koby you were so awesome. You looked so great in the ring. You made Mom so proud…” you get the point. I don’t want to hear it second-hand I want to watch it first.
Kevin: How did it feel knowing that they were filming you?
Koby: It felt great though I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s a camera. I mean heck, everytime Randy does a 5-second walk across the screen as an extra he calls the house and we all sit around the television looking for a speck of a Santa hat or whatever in the background of a TV show. Maybe I should’ve called Randy up and asked him how I should act when I’m walking in the background while they film the Golden Retrievers show.
Kevin: I hear Mom has taken a break from showing you and has gotten a handler, how do you feel about that?
Koby: At first I was sad because Mom and I are a team, but Larry’s cool. I led him to four straight Best in Breed titles in Portland so we must click some way. But yah, he’s cool, though the light will sometimes reflect off his bald head and hit me in the eye.
Kevin: That’s not very nice.
Koby: Nobody said I was. I’m just teasing, I love bald people! Erik is bald and he’s cool, when he lets me roll in his Jeep with him during the summer. Anything to help him pick up chicks.
Kevin: So you’re closing in on 4-years (March 31) and have already won over 35 Best in Breeds, ranked in the Top 25 of your breed in the nation (No. 16 in 2005, No. 13 in ’06), became an American champion at the young age of 14 months and two months later became the Canadian champion. Are you surprised with the early success?
Koby: Look at me. Am I not sexy or what? Come on, my body is lean and strong. I’ve got a nice snout, my coat is shiny…is it in your contract to ask stupid questions?
Kevin: Okay, let’s talk about your relationship with your brother Micky. You two had a falling out around the 4th of July 2006. He was attacked by two dogs at a lake and instead of you rescuing him, you decided to jump in. And now the two of you haven’t been on speaking terms since. What is up with that?
Koby: I should say ‘no comment’ but I’m not one to keep my mouth shut. He just needed to realize that there’s a new sheriff in town. It was my way of saying that ‘you’re old, you’re no longer the one they want to show, I’m the man in charge now’. Micky’s just too mellow. He needed to be put in his place. We’re alright now.
Kevin: But I hear you two still have problems playing together.
Koby: No comment.
Kevin: What’s new for you guys, what’s coming up for you?
Koby: I get to perform in front of the home crowd at a show in Seattle. Always a big show with lots of bitches to perform in front of. Then there are talks of us going to Arizona and Las Vegas for a show, which doesn’t bode well for me and my fur. Koby no like extreme heat. Should be fun though, I may ask Dad to put $50 on black for me. Always bet on black, ya know?
Kevin: Is that because you’re black?
Koby: No…just cause…ah, who am I kidding, it is.
Kevin: So one of the friends of the breeder, Moira, has been battling a long fight with cancer. She actually brought some of the first Flat-Coated Retrievers from England and your Dad was through her breed. Is there anything you want to say about her?
Koby: Cancer sucks. Just send my thoughts and prayers out to her. She’s a cool lady with a cool accent and she loves her dogs. Everyone pray for her okay?
Kevin: Is there anything else you want to share with us?
Koby: Watch the Animal Planet Saturday, March 3, for me, Blacklace Magic Mocha Sapphire (Koby) at 8pm. Check your local listings for channel and showtime. Thank you, you’ve been great, don’t forget to tip your waitresses.