A Slight Scare – June 23, 2005

I need a hug. Not one of those – “Hi, good to see you again”, standing two feet away from you, tapping your back – kind of hug, a real strong hug. The kind where you can feel that the other person cares about you.

Okay, so you’re probably wondering why I’m giving out definitions of hugs. Well, Lis had her check up today and it turns out that the fever we were discussing is not a good thing. Right now Lis is in the hospital hopefully getting a refill on blood, platelets (can’t get enough of that word), white blood cells and some antibotics. Turns out Lis was on empty thus the high fever, increasing fatigue and sudden change of color (hey, she matches me and Lukas again!).

Ahh yes, today was a good day. Today felt a lot like Day One minus the doctor popping out of the cake screaming “Surprise! You have cancer!” This time we knew what she had but the fear, frustration and nervousness were back as were the little red dots. And this time the nurses weren’t as gentle. One was celebrating a birthday and acted as though she had a few too many birthday beers. The other, my personal favorite, walked in, coughed and gave us the same line she had given us three other times, “I’m not sick, it’s just allergies, if I was sick I wouldn’t be here…” allergies eh? Well maybe you should lay off the nicotine since I just saw you puffing on a cigerette before your shift started or stop giving us lame excuses. Or maybe it was the room change. We no longer have lucky # 707.

I mean, Lis got poked and prodded so many times she now whistles when she walks to the bathroom. My favorite nurse poked Lis a few times in the top of the hand, Lis grimaced and almost cried (which I’ve never seen her do when stuck with a needle), then complained that it hurt. The nurse replied “sorry”, left the room and a few moments later the IV nurse came in and asked the other nurse to put ice on Lis’ hand which was now swollen thanks to the mishap. Meanwhile, the RN is removing the tourniquet from Lis’ arm and leaves the room with Lis bleeding. For those who don’t know, when someone has a low blood count or low platelet count you don’t want them bleeding or bruising. There is a friggin’ sign on the door that says that.

Overall the day sucked. I didn’t go to work, my mind and body weren’t with it today so there’d be no point. I’m so emotionally exhausted I need a good cry and/or hug.

Lukas just woke up and was trying to make me laugh – he succeeded. He woke up when he should’ve been sleeping then he put his face into the bed and screamed into it then looked up and smiled, then did it again, and looked up and smiled. It was funny and good help. He just knows when he’s supposed to help Daddy smile.

7 thoughts on “A Slight Scare – June 23, 2005

  1. Unfortunately, I cannot give the type of physical hug you need, but here is a virtual hug. I keep up with your blog on a daily basis and am rooting for you all.<HUG>Blessings,Sabine

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  2. And here is another virtual hug. <HUG>You will all be in my prayers as always.And we are so glad to hear you have match if needed. Hopefully you won\’t.Wishing you all the very best.Claudia and family

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  3. It amazes me how our babies know just when we need that extra boost to get us through a tough time. I find nothing more awesome than my little boy\’s smile when I am feeling way down. They are angels!!! I am so happy that your angel is with you. Stay strong Lis!! My thoughts and prayers are with you! shannon

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  4. I wish I could give you a real hug. But, here is a virtual one <<<<<<(((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))>>>>>>. I am so sorry. We will keep all of you in our prayers.

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  5. I\’m sorry to hear about your wife\’s struggle and I know exactly how you must feel. In 1999 my wife was diagnosed with AML (on her 30th birthday!). At the time our daughter was only four months old. But I\’m happy to say that she is a survivor–5 1/2 years cancer-free! Her chemotherapy did not put her in remission so she immediately had a bone marrow transplant from her sister. She had ups and downs, like everyone does, but she is alive and independent and enjoying her life and our now six year old daughter.If you\’d like to get any more information or ask any questions, take the "nospam" out of my e-mail above and feel free to contact me. I will keep your wife and your family in my thoughts. Best of luck to you all and hang in there!

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  6. Kevin,My wife Jen, a breast cancer survior of almost 6 years, put me onto your blog. Acutally she has been telling me you and your wife\’s story and I finally asked why she hadn\’t forwarded me your link. Your story is similar to ours. Jen found her lump when she was 27, one week before our first anniversary. One month after, she had her surgery. The cancer had made it\’s way to her lymh nodes, so radiation and Chemop were necessary. We had some great Christmas pictures that year! Jen hated and refused to wear a wig. So they are classics, and sadly some of the best photos we have of each other.Like I said that was almost 6 years ago. Things are better and no doubt will get better for you as well. There are a lot of long days, lots of tears and even some laughter ahead. You and Lisy sound a lot like us. You are the same age that we were when we had "the Cancer" came into our lives. The toughest thing for me was seeing Jen go through her treatments, I am sure you are finding similar situations with Lisy. I would have done anything to take that off of her, but of course that wasn\’t possible. I set out to find some help out there on the web, groups, stories… anything. Back then blogs were not nearly as popular as they are now. Yours is terrific. If I were one to share advice it would simply be this, keep doing what you are doing. Screw what other people say, you and your wife have earned any joy, anger or anything else you care like feeling. The road is long and it isn\’t easy. But you are doing all the right things.It looks like your firends are close to you as well, and if any of them read this. Make sure that you are asking Kevin how he is holding up. I am sure you do on a daily basis, but for me it meant to so much just to have someone ask. I rarely needed anything other than to know that my friends were there if I faultered. Lisy will appreciate it too.Kevin, I am at your disposal, if there is anything that you may need to talk about. Our stories aren\’t unique or extraordinary, but the ones that we care about are. If you ever need an ear to bend, just fire off an email. mike.cerce@verizon.netNow that I know about it I will check your blog regularly, good luck to you and your family. We will keep you in our thoughts and pray for a quick recovery. It was nice to meet you. Mike

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