Ding, ding, ding…Round 2 has begun.
Last night we went to bed, somewhat depressed because we knew that Lis was going to return to the hospital for at least three days of chemotherapy. I could tell Lis was sad. She lay in bed, saying nothing. I heard the occasional *sniff, sniff* meaning that she was probably crying. She wouldn’t explain to me what was wrong and I got tired of bugging her to tell me. I asked her if she wanted Lukas in bed with us and she said “yah, but I don’t want to wake him”. Well, if you know kids, you know that you can almost always pick them up while they are in deep sleep and move them across the country without them knowing. So I carefully picked up Lukas and brought him into bed with us. I think it made her more sad and then better.
It’s hard knowing that you have to go back to the hospital. All the negative thoughts you try to put aside come back into the front of your mind. What if something goes wrong? What if the chemo gets into a part of the body it shouldn’t? Plus, it brings up the fact that Lis does have leukemia no matter how she may feel or be acting. It’s part of our life and unfortunately will be a part of our life forever.
This morning Lis and I got ready to go to the hospital. We were ready, and prepared this time, bringing Lukas’ toys and a change of clothes and also filling a bag of stuff for Lis. This wasn’t like before where we had no idea how long we were going to be there or what was going on. Sogra and Elen didn’t seem to be getting ready. Lis had to ask them if they were coming which bothered me. There shouldn’t be a question of whether or not you’re coming; it should just be that you’re coming. I guess this is how I feel. Your daughter, sister, wife, mom is in the hospital, you’re here to stay with them, you should go to the hospital with them. Wouldn’t it make her feel better? It bothered me a lot. I know this is something that you probably don’t want to see but so be it, you have to pick yourself up and deal with the situation. It just bothered me. Sogra ended up going but Elen didn’t. I know its boring but what are you going to do home alone?
Anyway, Lis got to the hospital and checked in. Turns out we were supposed to wait for a phone call before coming to the hospital, that way we were sure there was a room open. Thankfully they had a room open and oddly it was # 707, Lis’ old room. Ahhh…home sweet home.
We settled in and slowly some of the nurses that had remembered Lis came walking in to say “hello” to Lis and to flirt with Lukas. He didn’t remember any of them but he quickly got back into the routine of smiling and looking at everyone that walked through the door and poked his mom with a needle. He’s so darn cute, I’m sorry!
I left at 12:30pm with Sogra and then went to work. Later that day I had a meeting with the Boss Lady and her husband. The meeting went well and it looks like they’ve talked me into staying. I think this will be better and am glad that we were able to work things out. It will be easier on the office and me if I stayed. Now I have to call Ian’s work and let them know that I won’t be taking the job. Argh!
After work we went back to the hospital and hung out until 9:30pm. My Mom was there from noon until 5:30pm. She stayed with Lukas and helped Lis out. I think she enjoys going there and helping out, she does a good job at it and I think she wanted to see some old faces.
I think things are going to work out fine. We’re trying to get our life situated and move on with our new life with cancer. I think we’ll do fine. Lis is so strong, it was nice to hear one of the nurses say that the last time he saw Lis she looked miserable and sick and he thought there was no chance of her getting out in a couple more days, but I think she heard that there was that chance of getting out by Mother’s Day that she worked hard at eating, walking and all that stuff and was able to get out earlier than expected. She’s amazing. And she’ll do another great job with Round 2.