Remission – April 26, 2005 – Day 19

This morning Lis called to tell me that she was scared. Today would be the day she found out if the cancer was still alive in her body. I told her I was scared too but I think she’s going to be okay.

I wasn’t too nervous before that, I guess I tried not to think about it too much, but the phone call and the thought of her still having cancer bothered me and I quickly tensed up and got scared and nervous.

I was like that at work and at 9:30am I got a phone call from Lis. She sounded upset but quickly told me that the doctor had good news. The cancer was gone, her blood level is rising and her platelets are fine. They are going to start her on medication that will increase and produce white blood cells. Once those grow then they should kill off the infection she has which will end the fever that’s bothering her and us.

I didn’t believe it. I asked her three times and each time she told me “I already told you what the doctor said”. It seemed too easy. Three weeks later and the cancer is gone? No way! Test her again! I want to make sure this is certain. I guess I’ll have to take her word for it. She sounded so upbeat, she said “I love you chemo!” Maybe we’ll name our dog (if we ever have one) Chemo. Hehe!

I wanted to be there with her when she found out, unfortunately, I had to be at work. I wanted to celebrate, unfortunately, I was at work. I wanted to cry and feel joyous, unfortunately, the friggin’ phones would not stop ringing. I got to tell my dad and brothers before everyone and their friggin’ sister started calling the office. I had no time to have my emotions catch up with the moment. It sucked. It wore me out. It’s kind of strange how just your emotions will tire you out. I went from nervousness and being scared to being happy and relieved. One extreme to the next. Unfortunately, I could only share the moment with my co-workers not my family and friends. Life sucks that way! We spend too much of our time…I guess I should say we waste too much of our life at work. I mean it really revolves around it, work and money. That bites.

Later I got an email from Elen, my sister-in-law. She said that they have an appointment at the Embassy on April 28th. Well, by golly, that’s this Thursday. If they get their visas – which they better – then they will be here next week. God is good. She also said that Elisete, my sister-in-law, may be having twins. What a great day this is turning out to be!

Tonight we visited Lis. She was still tired. She really loves Lukas and I feel she misses him and just him. I know I annoy her but I want to know all the facts and hear them over and over again so it feels real. Oh well, we have time to rekindle our relationship, to start over with this new life we’ve been handed. Hopefully we can change. Hopefully I can change. Hopefully I can straighten the focus on my life and not work so much and not ignore my wife so much.

One thought on “Remission – April 26, 2005 – Day 19

  1. Have faith in God and he will help you win your battle permanently and your life will be good again.  dMday God bless you and family.

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